This too shall pass…

A few years ago, I was going through a bit of a tough time. Nothing specific. But life felt hard. My children were babies. I worked full time. They didn’t sleep. I didn’t sleep. The expectations from my employers were, quite rightly, that I should be firing on all cylinders.

I couldn’t.

I don’t think that anyone talks openly about how hard it is to have young children and be sleep deprived. The impact that has on you. And it doesn’t matter whether you stay at home, or are working. Essentially, you are working all the time. In fact, if you’re working, you get a designated break time. You have other adults you can speak to. There is a break from the monotony of routine, that is nappy changes, feeding, nap times.

Although I sound completely miserable about it and it was incredibly hard work – I blinked. I blinked and the girls are not tiny helpless beings anymore. They talk and are actually quite funny. They help. They are good company. At times, they are wise beyond their years. And it made me realise – situations do not stay the same forever.

I was blessed. I wasn’t on my own during the periods that I found hard. My husband did everything in his power to help me. My mother would check on me two or three times a day to ask if I needed anything. She would come and give me respite whenever she could. My in-laws would check on us and provide help if we needed it. I was never alone and I’m acutely aware so many incredible women do this and more all on their own. However, it was my brother who gave me a gift that helped me to calm down and see things differently. He would ring me as often as he could and would try to be as supportive as he could. But in 2015, New Year’s Day, he came around and said, ‘I’ve bought you something.’ I unwrapped the gift, and he had given me a copy of ‘The Bhagavad Gita’.The Gita is a sacred, holy text for Hindus and let me explain the context behind it. Lord Krishna was on the battlefield with his disciple, Arjuna. Arjuna and his brothers were about to take part in the biggest battle of their lives – fighting evil. But the power-hungry evil people that they were fighting were unfortunately members of their own extended family. This epic story is described in the holy book of The Mahabharata. As Arjuna gazed across and looks to the opposing side of the battlefield, he has a crisis of confidence and conscience. He sees his uncles, cousins, teachers – people he grew up, people he loved dearly at one time – and he tells Krishna – I can’t do this. This is wrong. I can’t do this. The Bhagavad Gita is the conversation that Krishna has with Arjuna. Krishna advises Arjuna that he has a job to do. The people that he is going to fight may be family members, but they had many opportunities to change their ways and do the right thing. They chose not to – they made their choice and they must face the consequences.

Krishna proceeds to give Arjuna, and the rest of humankind advice about how to live life, particularly during times of difficulties.

To my shame, I haven’t read all of the Gita. The original text is in Sanskrit and even though it has been translated, to read and understand each verse is hard going. Each line is full of wisdom and to understand it, even slightly, requires a huge amount of concentration.

It has been said that if you are going through any difficulties in life, you only need to concentrate and open The Bhagavad Gita to any page – the verses should provide some guidance and advice to help you. When my brother left, I put The Bhagavad Gita in a safe place, returning to it some time later…

The girls were asleep. I had just had a shower. I sat on the floor in my back room and started reading. Very slowly and full of intense concentration.

The biggest thing that I took away from The Gita, and what has stuck with me ever since was this – Everything is temporary. Happiness, sadness, easy times, challenging times – everything is temporary. It doesn’t last.

I realised that prior to reading that passage – that I have explained in incredibly simple terms – that I had had suffered a few setbacks that I wasn’t finding easy to deal with. Had I been feeling stronger, slept better, felt more like myself – I would have felt differently. But reading the passage gave me strength that the difficulties that I felt that I was facing – were they even difficulties? Or were they life lessons? But most importantly – I was given hope. Whatever I was going through was temporary. The feelings, the emotions, the difficulties – were all temporary. Things would get better. I just needed to remind myself and believe it.

The Gita was right. I sound hilarious don’t I? Thousands of years this sacred text has existed, and here I am in 2019, giving my seal of approval, 5 stars rating to Krishna! Krishna, you were right.

Whether it was because I had a sudden change of mindset and began to feel more hopeful – or whether it was a different reason – things slowly began to change. For the better.

Life is a roller coaster, so since that time, there have been ups and downs. Ecstatic moments. Moments of helplessness. Times that I have felt despondent and been pushed to the brink… Offset by times filled with immense gratitude.

I know that some people reading this will be feeling sceptical and uninspired.

Others will be feeling as low as I did at certain parts of my life. My advice to you is to hang in there. Keep going and keep believing. Nothing in life is permanent. Everything is temporary. And if you are going through an incredibly difficult time in your life – have faith. Because if life has taught me anything, this too will pass.


You never know who’s watching…

On Saturday, my husband just happened to switch the tv on during the dying moments of the women’s Wimbledon final.

‘Ah, Serena Williams is losing!’ he exclaimed.

My youngest perked up! ‘Serena Williams? We’ve been learning about her in school. She plays tennis!’

It was heartbreaking to watch Serena lose but equally the winner, Simona Halep was such a joyous winner, she won my heart over too. Her speech was incredibly humble and humorous, I was enamoured. Meanwhile, my youngest waited on tenterhooks for Serena Williams to light up the screen. Although Halep was the champion, in her eyes, Williams was no less. She watched in awe as both women lifted up their trophies. The camera shot to the board where the names of the previous winners were emblazoned in gold. We counted how many times the Williams sisters had won the Wimbledon tournament. It was a lot! Finally, Shreeya to me and said, ‘I want to win a gold trophy like Serena Williams!’

‘Ok, that’s good,’ I responded, ‘Do you want to start playing tennis?’

‘No,’ she replied, ‘but I want to win a gold trophy at something, not tennis!’

Her words stayed with me. Maybe it’s because Serena had been discussed at school. Maybe it’s because Serena is a female of colour, like Shreeya, but the fact that she saw her pick up her trophy, saw her name written so many times, pride of place on the board of Wimbledon champions, my little girl was inspired to be so good at something that she too would win trophies.

In a similar vein, my brother called me up to check up on how I was. Our conversation moved onto a colleague of his, whom he regards as a big sister. He was so incredibly proud of her because she’d recently been made a director. He’d seen how incredibly hard she’d worked for years, inspiring others, leading by example a consummate professional. She was promoted alongside a few other people – all of whom were men. As she was the only female who was promoted at that time, a few trolls decided to insult her by saying that she was a ‘token’, trying their best to denigrate her achievement.

I listened to my brother’s outrage about the situation and anger towards the people who would make such ridiculous comments – then I stopped him and began to explain something that I hoped he would pass onto his colleague.

The truth is, the haters, the people who are inadequate are their jobs, the talentless are always the loudest and most resentful of those who are successful and do achieve. The higher you go, there where will be more and more people who will be envious of your success. What your friend needs to remember is the number of silent women whom she is inspiring with her success. The number of young female graduates, just stepping out into their career, looking up to your friend and thinking, if she can do it, then so can I.

Even at my age, I am constantly inspired by both men and women who achieve success – because it inspires me to try harder, do better and question – What am I actually capable of?

The point of what I am trying to say today is that not everyone can be a Serena Williams, but in your own way you never know who you are inspiring. You never know who is watching you and your achievements and thinking that they want to be like you or achieve what you have.

Keep working hard. Ignore the loud haters. If they were any good at anything, they wouldn’t have the time to criticise what you are doing. Instead, know that you are helping a silent group of people who will want to follow in your footsteps and grow towards the sun, through the glass ceilings that you have smashed.

The best of times…the worst of times.

You’ve probably heard of that famous line, written by Charles Dickens, in ‘The Tale of Two Cities’ – It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…’

One of my most favourite lines in literature, ever. That, and the way that Cleopatra is described by Shakespeare in ‘Antony and Cleopatra’. Enorbarbus, a general in Antony’s army, debates with another soldier, who thinks that Cleopatra is no more than a whore. He describes her in the words that follow:

Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale
Her infinite variety. Other women cloy
The appetites they feed, but she makes hungry….

I read ‘Antony and Cleopatra’ as a 17 year old, for A-Level literature, and I was blessed to have a passionate, intelligent, sensitive English teacher, who was the head of department and a massive feminist. She opened my eyes and talked about how many men throughout time had dismissed Cleopatra as nothing more than a weak woman who was only able to stay in power because she slept with the right men. If we dig a bit deeper, then we realise that Cleopatra was a smart, intelligent politician. A queen. She ruled in a time when it was virtually unheard of and impossible for women to rule. How successful she was as a queen, I haven’t researched. But what inspired me, was Shakespeare’s words about her.

The fact that her age would never destroy her, and that she was so extraordinary, where other women satisfied the appetites of men, she only left them wondering what more she was capable of, and what she would do next.

As a 17 year old I studied those words. I learnt that quote off by heart to use in my written exams, and I was determined, no matter what the context, I would shoehorn that incredible quote in. I can’t recall if I did use the quote in my exams, all I know is that those words never left me. Every time I see or read about incredible women, I am reminded of Shakespeare’s words.

I’m going to go back to Dickens’ words, about it being both the best and worst of times. In my life, this quote reminds me of my late 20’s being both the best and worst of times. I suppose at that time of my life, I was the most confident. I was confident in most aspects of my life, my career, my ambitions, my opinions. The world was mine, everything was black and white, I had no commitments, I could do anything I wanted. I had overcome many struggles in life, proven a lot of people wrong, shattered many gender stereotypes, and proven to myself – I could do anything. I had incredibly strong, fierce and loyal friends, we would put the world to rights all the time and feel bamboozled with others who would make foolish decisions and make life worse for themselves.

However, it was also the worst of times because I wanted to meet ‘the one’ and it just didn’t seem to be happening. People around me seemed to be in stable relationships, having children, living the dream and it just wasn’t happening for me. This would make me feel down, insecure, doubts would begin to creep in, but my incredible friends were always there for me to snap me back to myself.

Now, I’m not in my twenties.

Now I do have the things that I once longed for – but I wish I had savoured and valued being younger for longer. I wish I had valued my skin and how I looked, and how easy it was to lose weight. I wish I had valued how easy it was to make a simple decision about whether or not I was going to go out – without there being 50 other things to consider.

I am also aware of another massive thing – if I am lucky enough to grow older – then I should be valuing what I have now, instead of lamenting over my weight gain, older skin, restricted decision making. I should be valuing how my daughters still hang on my every word. How they seek me out for a cuddle because that makes their worries go away. How they watch me do my makeup with awe. How my youngest enjoys writing stories because she feels like she is blogging, like Mummy does. How ‘movie night’ and family holidays brings a huge buzz to their lives. How going shopping is still quite exciting because they are ‘helping’.

Yes, I have lots to appreciate and savour for now.

I know that when I am 60, I will look back on photos of myself from now and think that I was an idiot for being so hard on myself and not appreciating the positives.

I want to, I desperately want to be that Cleopatra-esque woman, who knows the right thing to say, at the right time. Who makes smart decisions. Who oozes confidence and inspires awe in all who she meets. Who people say – that age cannot wither her, nor custom stale her infinite variety……

Simply amazing!

However, I do remember that Cleopatra also got into a huge fix and had to commit suicide by being poisoned by an asp!!!

So, perhaps me being me, at times brave and confident, at times incredibly insecure. At times wise and insightful; at times losing my shit with my daughters because of the mess they make. Perhaps, I am who I am and that’s ok?

The best of times, the worst of times – it’s always happening now. It’s the present moment. Where we are now is the best, and at times, the worst. However we should savour and love each moment of this crazy, insane, frustrating, painful, incredibly beautiful journey that we call life.

Whenever and wherever you’re reading this – love and appreciate each moment now. This moment right now, you are the smartest, wisest, most beautiful that you’ve ever been. Stop giving yourself a hard time. Don’t put yourself down. Relax. You’ll never get this time back ever again….


Respect is a funny thing isn’t it? An intangible but a powerful force to reckon with. You know when you have it. However, a bit like water and food, you’re even more acutely aware of it when you don’t have it.

We’re taught from a young age that adults and authority figures deserve respect. Throughout history, there have been innumerable instances when those figures have abused the power of the respect bestowed on them by others by taking advantage of and mistreating those around them. Often, they get away with their actions with very few consequences. Why? Because they are often shielded by others who revere them or benefit from them or bask in the reflected glory of the respected person.

When you go through life and there are ups and downs, you realise quite quickly that people are chameleons. People quite often astound me – and not in the positive sense of the world. To some, position, power and wealth is king. It is absolutely everything. You can be an absolutely wretched, deplorable human being. But, because you have an important position, or are in power, or have wealth – you are impressive, worthy and deserving of respect. On the other hand, you can be kind, helpful, an angel of a human being – but without wealth, or an important job, or not wielding power over anyone – you’re valued as worthless. Undeserving of respect. Your words are not valued, your actions are not valued. You are a ‘nothing’ in their eyes. Nothing.

The older I get, the more and more I observe this behaviour in the world around me. People fawning like sycophants over people with wealth and/or power. If truth be told, it angers me. Those people who are so superficial and lacking in integrity, that the way they judge people is purely based on wealth and power and position – and that is their criteria for giving people respect – in my eyes, these people are truly despicable.

Surely, you have to dig a bit deeper? Surely, if you are going to give respect to someone – you have to have loftier ideals? Surely, the recipient of your respect has to be a good human being in the first place? Surely, they have to be kind and good? Surely, being in their presence should make you feel good about yourself?

The thing with wealth and power – you never know when it will come, or when it will go. The other intangible qualities: kindness, helpfulness, reliability, integrity, ability to keep your promises…these are not transient attributes. They don’t simply come and go. These qualities, if you have them – they are there for life. Why aren’t these people given the most amount or respect? Because if they were – our world would be a different place. Certainly not the brutal mess it is at the moment.

I have met people who have been cruel. Who have been unkind. Who have done their best to break people around them, destroy their confidence, stamped out the light inside others. Often, it is these types of people in power. They treat their subordinates in this way. Many leave. Some leave before too much damage has been done. Others leave after they have been completely destroyed. Those who stay they emulate this behaviour once they get into power because they admire and respect this style and believe that this is the best way to be.

There are those of course who have wealth, power and position, and are absolute gems of human beings. Those people are few and far between.

I will say this – we are on the brink of a new year. 2019. 2018 has felt extremely drama filled and tumultuous when you look at events on a global scale. At the moment, the world doesn’t seem like a particularly kind, safe place to be living in. On the Earth at the moment, the best people are actually primary school aged children. They are the ones who are the most idealistic people, wanting the world to be a better place, treating each other with kindness and calling out others who do not behave correctly. They often show patience to those who are different, and won’t tolerate unkindness in others.

What the hell happens to them? Why do those incredible qualities that they are born with, because children are inherently good and kind, why do they get battered out of them? When does respect for goodness and kindness become substituted for money and power?

I don’t know. What I do know is that we need to take a good hard look at ourselves and reflect on our own behaviour. If we want to live in a more peaceful and happier world, we need to re-evaluate as a society who and what we give respect to.

I know, I know, I’ve laboured the point enough… but I’ll leave you with this…

We make choices all the time. Our choices have consequences. If we choose to give the wrong type of people respect – the repercussions are horrific. We cannot blame those in power for their behaviour, if we are the people who put them there and crucially, keep them there in the first place. Let’s start taking responsibility for our actions, and slowly but surely, let’s start changing the world.

One can only but hope.

Step back in time

I don’t know if you’re familiar with the app ‘Timehop’, most of you probably have it.  If you don’t, I’ll explain what it does.  You can link it to the photos on your camera roll, to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Dropbox etc, and everyday it gives an update of any photos, or Facebook statuses, or tweets you may have written on that day years ago.  I love it.  Everyday, it shows me memories of photos and videos of my little ones that I or others took and I marvel at how small they were.  I marvel at videos of them when they were only 18 months old and how I could understand them perfectly at the time – but I look back at their broken English, and attempts to communicate, gesturing and nodding – like a game of charades – and I think how nobody else would probably understand what they were trying to say, but my husband and I did.  

Yesterday, as is my daily ritual, I opened Timehop again, and saw a series of photographs and videos that physically hurt my heart.  It reminded me of a time when I desperately wanted to be in control of my life – but nothing could have been further from it. 

Let me digress and travel off track a little.  On the BBC at the moment, there is an advert that has caused a bit of a controversy amongst some viewers.  The advert shows a teenage boy and a fraught mother.  It’s Christmas time and the mother has to work – she can’t spend the time that she would have liked to with her son, and her son resents her for, as he sees it, putting her job before him.  As a viewer, you can see the conflict in both of those people.  Mum has to work.  The son probably gets that too – but he wants to spend some time with her.  The mum is also torn in half, she needs to work, but she also wants to spend time with her son.  We see shots of them both struggling in their different settings, both angry, both frustrated.  Finally, the mum runs out of work, races to be with her son and they spend the perfect evening together, reconnecting.  

Why the controversy?  I wondered why people were outraged.  I wasn’t.  I got it.  Having felt that way many, many times in my life, I understood how that mother felt.  I never wanted my own children to feel that way about me.  You see the objection to the advert was that it was a woman.  Why do women have to feel guilty about going to work and having a career and leaving children at home?  I think those people are misguided.  The advert wasn’t trying to say that.  My interpretation was, in a world where we seem to be living to work, instead to working to live – there are times when we need to take a step back, revaluate what is important, the times and moments that we will never get back, and grab those moments so that we can live without regrets.  

The photos and videos that I referred to earlier, was my eldest’s very first Christmas play, when she was in Reception.  I had resigned myself to the fact that I couldn’t go.  I didn’t bother asking my boss at the time, whether I could go because…because I didn’t want to put anyone out.  It was alright, I convinced myself, my husband would be going, she would have one parent there to watch, that would be ok.  It didn’t matter if I didn’t go.  That’s what I told myself.  

The day of the performance finally arrived, and all I could think about was making sure that she was ok.  I hugged her and explained that she was going to be brilliant and that daddy was going to take lots of pictures and videos, so I wouldn’t miss a thing.  From an extremely early age, she has been incredibly emotionally intelligent, so she just smiled and said that everything was fine.  With a heavy heart, I drove to work.  Now the play was starting at 1.30 in the afternoon, and my husband had to pick his parents up from Heathrow that morning.  A completely straight-forward job.  He was keeping me updated about the flight and his arrival time and all was going well – until the flight was delayed.  The airport was about 2 to 2 and a half hours away – and we were in trouble.  Chances were that he wasn’t going to make it back in time, and our little 4 year old was going to have no one there to watch her in her first performance.  

I felt anxious anyway about not being to watch her, but knowing that we had promised that Daddy would be there, and for her to not see anyone in the audience was too much for my heart to bear.  Feeling distraught, I went to my head and explained the situation to her.  I’m not sure how articulate I was, but she could see the distress that I was in, she was completely wonderful and let me go.  

I made it.  I made it on time, to watch my daughter play the part of a sheep, singing her songs and doing the actions that she had spent hours at home learning and perfecting.  All the other parents were sitting together, they all seemed to know each other, I found an empty seat somewhere in the crowd and suddenly there was a bustling of excitement as the play was about to start and the children were walking in.  

Looking back through the photos, I remembered my daughter’s face, so wide-eyed with amazement as she took seconds to process the fact that I was there!  Mummy was there to watch her.  And then she waved excitedly as I blew kisses and waved like a crazy person back at her.  

The play began, and I sat back in my chair wondering at the might of God.  Even though I thought that this was an event that I was destined to miss – the Almighty had other plans.  Genuinely, it felt like a Christmas miracle.  My husband didn’t miss out either.  20 minutes into the performance, he arrived and saw the rest of the play too.  Both of us had tears of both pride and joy and relief in our eyes…

Although it pains me to look back on those times, I’m also extremely grateful that I was able to make life choices and decisions that helped me to redress the imbalances in my life.  I’ll be honest, a few years on and I had forgotten about that time.  But the photos and videos brought everything back to me, like a jolt of lightning.  

One of my mantras in life is to have no regrets.  Life is short and unpredictable, so at times, we have to make life choices that may seem bizarre to others – but are right for us.  I am grateful to God every day for being with me, and helping me to not live a life of regret.  And I will never forget the day that I was not supposed to watch my daughter’s play – but God had other plans.  And for that memory, I will be thankful and grateful forever.


The journey that life takes you on is a strange and surreal one.  I often think that it’s a bit like a train ride – people arrive on the train, share part of your journey with you, they get on the same train as you at different points, leave when their station arrives.  During your journey, some of the passengers sit with you, share food with you, share incredible stories with and you can’t imagine travelling the rest of the way without them.  But then, their stop arrives, they have to depart to catch another train and continue with their journey.  Sometimes you see them again, perhaps stay in touch through social media, or the odd text now and then.  Most of the time, you will never see them again.  

Friendships are like that too.  Best friends you had when you were at primary school or secondary school – they are your universe at the time.  Then you drift away.  Never to think of them ever again.  And this can happen at any point of your life – friends that you make when you are older, you become firm, best friends with.  You share all your secrets with them, you are there for them or they are there for you during some of the toughest times….and then – something happens.  Perhaps you move away, or they do.  Perhaps you meet someone who becomes your partner and you don’t have as much time for anyone else because you’re totally absorbed in this new person and you’re trying so hard to make this new relationship work…before you know it, old friends become relegated to the status of acquaintances.  And then you completely lose touch.  

Do you look back with regret on not being in contact with those people anymore?  Or is it an organic, healthy part of life anyway?  They say that those people who are no longer a part of your life, it is that way for a reason.  Their journey with you was only destined for a period of time.  You met them when it was the right time for you to meet, and they left your life when it was the right time for that to happen also.   It’s not without sadness that I look back and think of some friends that I no longer see.  It’s easy to say we should make time for others and reconnect – but often that’s tricky.  Geography plays a huge part.  Making the time to see someone who lives in a different part of the country, when you have job and family commitments is hard.  And the truth is, after a huge expanse of time, you and your close friends sometimes have actually grown apart for a reason.  Both of you are no longer the people you were when you first connected and made friends.  The close bond that you had, may never be recreated because of the stages of life that you are at.  Before, when you were single, had no commitments, had no children, you could be there for one another at the drop of a hat.  But now, that isn’t possible….

I don’t often look back.  If truth be told, I’m so busy moving forward thinking about the next thing that needs to be done, I don’t have the time to look back.  A friend I once knew said that there are a few people you meet in the world who, when they leave, you can feel the imprints of their footsteps on your heart.  You’ll never forget them.  There are a handful of people who have made that impression on me.  Who I find it hard to forget.  Who were fiercely protective of me, and were at the end of a phone call whenever I needed them.  You can tell I’m talking about pre 2010, because nowadays people would rather die than speak to one another on the phone! I’m talking about friends who built me up and made me feel that I was worth something.  They would make me feel incredible about myself.  We would meet and just laugh and laugh forever.  We were young and invincible.  Everything was in our grasp.  

I think if I hadn’t met this bunch of disparate, incredible, loyal, strong, intelligent, beautiful women – I wouldn’t be the person that I am now.  I wouldn’t have had the courage to make certain decisions that I made in life.  I wouldn’t have realised the importance of raising people up, so that they can become the best versions of themselves.  It’s only when you have experienced true sisterhood, true friendship, positivity – that you can pay that forward.  

I may not be constantly in touch with all the wonderful friends that I had in the past, the ones who made me realise that life is for enjoying and isn’t always a serious slog and fight.  But those incredible women have left  indelible imprints on my heart, and the lessons I learnt from them, and the positivity and boost in self esteem that they gave me, I hope that I am able to pass onto others.  

But – just like the train journey that I referred to earlier – the wonderful thing about life is that you never know who will embark upon that journey with you.  Which exciting people you will meet next?  New friendships that will take you to new places?  

All I know is that life is an unpredictable, strange, journey – be kind, positive and loving to the people you meet along the way, so that when we leave, people smile and remember us with fondness.  


The sunrise

This morning my youngest was getting ready in her room, putting on her school uniform, tidying things up, making her bed, finally pulling the curtains open. I was in my room doing pretty much the same things when all of a sudden she gasped with surprise. ‘Mummy!’ she screamed. ‘Mummy, it’s the sunrise. Have a look at the sunrise!’

At this point, I had two choices. Tell her that’s great and get on with my jobs as I was running late, or go and have a look to see what she was so enthralled with….

I chose option 2. And when I went into her room I thank God that I did. Out of her window, on the opposite side of the street, past the roofs and chimneys in the distance, the sky was incredible hues of pinks and purples. I couldn’t see the sun but it delighted me to see that she was making a grand entrance. Trees were silhouetted against the background and I hugged my youngest as tightly as I could, thanking her for alerting me to this beautiful sight.

I hope she remembers that. When she’s older and has children of her own, curly haired, bright eyed, beautiful children of her own who get excited about sunsets and sunrises and the colours of the sky – I hope that she too can drop everything in a heartbeat and share their awe and wonder with them.

Tomorrow is a painful day for me. My father passed away 31 years ago. He was 33 years old. There are so many things that I never got to share with my father, so many things I never got to tell him, that he never got to tell me.

I know that he would have loved his grandchildren. All four of them. Their curiosity. Their humour. Seeing the world again, through their young, innocent eyes would have invigorated him. He would have loved their spirit, their intelligence, how they care about others.

Life is cruel at times. When I think of him, I remember him as a giant of a man, kind, stern, brave, full of wisdom. Then I remember that I am older than he was when he passed away – and it never fails to astound me.

If getting older has taught me anything, it is this – growing old is a bloody privilege – not something terrible. A privilege. Grey hairs, sagging skin, hair loss, weight gain – none of it compares to growing old to see your babies grow into toddlers, children, adolescents, adults and then seeing them have children of their own…that’s a miracle. A gift – not something that everyone gets.

What I would give to share my excitement about the colours of the sky during the sunrise, with my father – I cannot even begin to explain. But it can’t happen. So I make sure that I share those moments with my loved ones so that they have those memories with me.

Life is too short to be busy doing jobs – and forgetting to live. So – you’re a couple of minutes late for work? You’ll never share that excitement of the sunrise again. Life is a gift. Getting old is a privilege. And your children – they are only little once. Spend time marvelling at how wonderful life and the world is when they are little…because looking at the world through their eyes makes everything more beautiful for you too.