Chasing dreams

So when does ribbing and making fun of people in jest, turn into you being a hindrance and a god damned destroyer of dreams?

In the past, a prerequisite for being famous was that you had to be truly talented at something.  Be that singing, or acting, sports or art – you had to be good – only then would you reap riches and rewards.  Nowadays, anyone, who has the personality that can withstand positive or negative attention, who is willing to stoop to any depths, travel to any lengths – can be famous.

In programmes such as X-Factor and whichever country you belong to – Has Talent – the audition stages are full of talentless people, who simply want their 5 seconds of fame, and humiliate themselves on television for the sake of entertainment of others.  What astonishes me is the bravado of these people!  If I know that I am rubbish at something, for example singing, (a skill which I desperately wish I had), then you can bet your last penny that I would never go onto television to sing in front of industry experts.  I simply wouldn’t be able to bear it.

Another reason for not wanting to risk that humiliation, is that when I was younger, even if I had delusions of being a good singer, those dreams were soon torn apart by others that heard me.  I was under no false impressions about my singing abilities.

But the question remains – when is criticism constructive and helpful…and when is actually quite debilitating?  The problem is, that once people get into the habit of making fun of people, and pulling them down – when do these people stop?  What if that particular habit means that they crush the other person so much, that they never try and make any of their dreams come true?  Where is the fine line between being realistic, and actually sucking the enjoyment out of everything and crushing dreams?

Which dreams do we tend to crush?  It’s the path that may not lead to financial stability.  Primarily – sports and arts.  How many children want to be footballers?  As adults we know that many won’t make it – do we crush or nurture?  Is explaining the reality how many people don’t make it to the top, crushing – or being realistic? Dancing, singing, artistry?  These are the dreams that we try to squash aren’t they?  I’ve not known many people to say, I want to grow up and work in an office – and if they did, would that be stamped out of them? I think not.

I remember when I was 17 years old, I really wanted to study journalism at university.  I wanted to write, being a writer was my dream.  Like a candle, that particular dream was snuffed out by people who were well-meaning at the time – but that dream simply never went away.  It has refused to disappear.  Which is why I blog.  I’m lucky that there is an outlet for me, that is allowing my dream to come true, even though it’s on a very small scale.

As I type, I look at my daughters, and hope that I never stop them from doing anything that they want or need to do in this life.  Hopefully, I will give them good advice, and be able to help them to assess the pros and cons of choices that they make.  Perhaps this world would be a happier place, if we let more people simply chase their dreams?

 

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4 thoughts on “Chasing dreams

  1. Brilliant as usual and so true. I would never want to crush the dreams of anyone let alone my own children but it does make you wonder where to draw the line, what if I big them up and they fail miserably. Could they cope with ridicule if they failed? Support while they are trying and offer the same thing if it succeeds or not. We will never feel fulfilled if we never try and will always be left with what it’s. I have too many of those and hope my children never have any regrets. Thank you again

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    1. Sue, your children I’m sure would agree with me, they are so lucky to have you! You have encouraged them to follow their dreams, whilst you are there for them always. Everyone needs a mum like you! Xx

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  2. So very true Anita – I longed to work with children and my mum was convinced by my form tutor that there “was no money in it” – so instead of CSE Childcare (which would have allowed me to go to college and study Nursery Nursing my dream) I was forced to do CSE Physics (which I hated with a passion and failed miserably). Needless to say it took me 30+ more years and instead of nursery nursing I became a teacher but hey I’m working with children. Keep on writing … Mrs Hines would be proud of you xx

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    1. Thank goodness you had that incredible fight inside you, to make your dream come true.
      Thank you so much for your kind words, I think about Mrs Hines quite often and hope that she would be happy that I was writing at last xx

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