This is a message for my daughters….I hope that one day they read this at the right time of their life, and somehow it helps them.
Wednesday 28th September 2016
It’s a mantra that my husband teaches my daughters; and even before they were born, I knew that this was his motto in life. Never give up!
I watch him with my daughters sometimes, doing things with them that would frighten me, or I would feel nervous about. And he tells them, when they find things tough – Come on, you can do it, never give up! So that’s inbuilt into their psyche now – things may be hard in life – but never give up. And because he tells them this constantly, and like a passive smoker, the mantra has become absorbed into my bloodstream – I also think to myself – I should never give up.
So what shouldn’t I give up on? My hopes and dreams and ambitions in life.
When days are tough – and I feel that I’m too tired to deal with things, and I really want to give up – I can’t. Because in my head there it is – that nagging thought, scratching away at me, no matter how small that voice is – never give up.
When I was growing up, one of my favourite stories was ‘Pandora’s Box’. I’m sure you’re all familiar with it – but to summarise anyway – nosy girl, given a box as a gift, told not to open it, she opens it, let’s out terrible suffering into the world – but one tiny thing is left in the box…hope…
I suppose that’s what ‘Never give up’ stems from. Hope. Without hope we have nothing. If we give up, we have lost hope. We’ve told ourselves that nothing more can be done and shut the situation down.
Sometimes when I tell people about my husband and the things that he does for me – I’m told ‘Oh you’re so lucky’. Hmmm – the problem with that is that I don’t believe in luck. Luck suggests that things are random. Luck suggests that you’ve been favoured. I don’t believe in luck – in fact being told that I’m lucky or unlucky deeply offends me. Everything that happens in your life is due to a series of decisions that you make on a daily basis. You decide if you like the ‘bad boy’ – you choose to stay with a man who treats you like a piece of dirt – or worse. You decide your own worth. You decide what you deserve in life. You decide how you will be treated by others. It wasn’t luck that made me meet my husband and then decide to spend the rest of my life with him – it was a series of choices.
What I’ve come to realise is that perhaps I knew all along – that I should never give up. There were times in my life that I was treated with disrespect; I wasn’t valued; I was (in my opinion), unfavourably overlooked. So then I had two choices.
a) Stay in that situation – moan to all and sundry – be unhappy – but be passive and do nothing positive to get myself out of that situation;
b) Make the choice that I deserve better and fight tooth and nail to make my life better.
ALWAYS CHOICE B! Always, always, always choice B. Never be a victim. Never be a moaner. Never be passive. If you’re in a negative situation – learn the lessons that you need to learn and then take steps to get the hell out of it. Choice B is the never give up choice. If you’re unhappy – you deserve better. Don’t listen to what people say – watch their actions, that’ll tell you everything that you need to know. And be brave. They say that fortune favours the brave….well you know that I don’t believe in luck – but brave people are people that have been placed in a crap situation and they actively do something to try and make things better. Sometimes willingly – at times unwillingly. But be brave.
I watch my daughters now – and I pray that they always know their self-worth. That they always know how precious and valuable they are. That they come from a stock of fighters. That they have the strength and courage to overcome all obstacles. That they deserve for their hopes and dreams to come true – and that they never give up. Not just with tasks that are challenging; but with all things – never, never, never give up.