I don’t always like it, but quite often my Mum is right about a lot of things. She’s not particularly old, she had me when she was 19, she’s not travelled far and wide, but none of this matters. She’s one of those ladies, akin to Miss Marple, who from the comfort of her front room, can tell you precisely who is and who and what is what. Is she humble about her gift? Not a chance! Ever since I was tiny, I’d always hear about how she could correctly assess any situation and how she was always right. Growing up, it would annoy me immensely – now I accept that she has a certain talent or a gift, I just hope that it is hereditary and that I too can be equally infuriating as I get older, by always being right.
One of the things that I will always be thankful to my mother for, is that she always taught me and my siblings that if we were not happy in a situation, or if things were not going the way we wanted them to, or if we had bought something that we didn’t like – never shrug your shoulders and accept ‘that’s just the way things are’ – do something about it.
Her feeling was that in life we work so hard. Every single penny that we bring home, we have truly earned. Nothing is given to us for free. Nothing in life is free. So when you have worked hard in life, to get what you have and if something isn’t how you would like it, why accept it? If you go to a restaurant and you order a meal and the waiter brings something that you didn’t want, would you just accept it, or would you explain this isn’t what you wanted and ask for what you did want?
Sometimes it is easier to not say anything – but is that right? Do you get what you want by just sitting back and accepting things for what they are?
So, here’s a small example of my Mum’s philosophy in action. We’d had a glorious summer this year and even September was remarkably warm and pleasant. But when the weather began to change, my husband and I bought warm, padded, winter coats that zipped up at the front for our daughters. The zips are an absolute pain. They get trapped with material all the time, then you have to spend ages pulling on the zipper, untangling material, I absolutely hate them. My eldest is particularly prone to getting material trapped in her zipper no matter how careful she is. However, it was my youngest whose coat was eventually ruined because the zip actually broke. Luckily, we had another duffle coat that had belonged to my eldest, but she had grown out of it, and she started to use that. It was my Mum who saw this and asked, ‘Why isn’t she wearing her other coat?’ We explained the whole sorry story to her, expecting that to be that. But she asked, ‘Why haven’t you returned to the shop and asked for another one in her size?’ I then explained about how we hadn’t kept the receipt, we couldn’t remember when we had actually bought it, there was no point, blah, blah, blah…
‘Give the coat to me,’ Mum said, ‘I’ll speak to the shop. This coat is only a couple of months old. This shouldn’t have happened. Children’s coats shouldn’t be ruined so quickly. If you haven’t got a receipt it doesn’t matter.’
Off she drove, with the coat in tow. An hour or so later, she called me. ‘I showed them the coat, explained this shouldn’t have happened. They’ve given me a gift card with the value of the coat on it. I’ll give the gift card to you later.’
There was not a single atom in my Mum’s body that had doubted the outcome of the conversation that she was about to have with the Customer Services department of the shop. She knew what was right, she knew what she wanted and she did something about it. And it reminded me about how strong she is, how unfaltering in her views and how absolutely determined she is that things should be right. You never accept less in life.
So…taking a leaf out of her book, I returned a couple more things that I had bought for the children only a few weeks previously, I didn’t have the receipt but the goods were still for sale in the shop. I explained the situation – the shops returned the money onto gift cards and apologised for what had happened.
Reflecting upon what had happened, and reflecting over my life in general, I was grateful to God that my mother is the way she is. She is a fighter. A strong, demanding woman who knows what she wants in life, and will not take the easy, lazy option. She wants what she wants and will get it.
She taught us, and we picked it up without even realising it, that the whole world is out there – you have to know what you want out of life, and you have to ask for it. Expect it. If you don’t get what you asked for – make a fuss. Keep going, keep knocking on doors, keep trying until you get what you asked for, what you wanted for yourself.
Even though I am so much older now, I am astounded at my Mum’s confidence when facing things. When she knows she’s right – she knows she’s right (and that’s quite often), and no one will be able to stop her from getting what she needs, done.
We never stop learning. We never stop growing. And every so often, we need reminding. Expect more from life. If things are not right, in any situation in life – don’t just shrug your shoulders and accept it. Things will never change if you do that. Things will never get better. Be brave. Push yourself out of your comfort zone and ask for change – just like you would if you were brought the wrong order at a restaurant, or if the zip’s broken on a coat and you don’t have the receipt.
Anything is possible. Just ask my Mum, she’ll tell you what to do. And when it works, be prepared for her to say, ‘I told you it would work. I’m always right!’